If I didn't get the bigger picture this entire year, I got that shit last night.
Goodfuckinggrief.
I ain't wit'itt no fuckingg moreeee.
& I refuse to be thatt bitchhhh.

Goodbyee,08.

Squeezer, you're an angel.

Dear 2008,
You were suppose to be the year all my dreams came true but, then I realized.. Nightmares are dreams too.
You took me to straight to the gates of heaven only to send me falling down to the pits of hell & left me there to burn. You took the person I thought I was & created this monster living in this fantasy world. I absolutely hate you but, I owe you my life. You took my lost soul, made me lose my mind, and now - I’m here. I’ve now found my way. So, for that I would like to thank you.
To the people I lost, the people I found, the relationships that were ruined, and the ones that grew; Know that I will always love you.
I danced with the devil for 365 days.
My very long nightmare is over.
No more hiding who I want to be - this is me.
I feel like I came out on top of the world.
I played with death! On more than one occasion! God truly did bless me this year & I’ll never make those mistakes again.
I’ve found sanity. I know what it’s like to be a real person, living in a real world.
I was an addict & now I’m not, it feels soooo good to be able to say that! "I can see soo much clearer now that the drugs are goneee."
I overcame my biggest fear - I got comfortable being alone. I love myself for who I am now. My insecurities no longer exist. It feels so much better.
I now know what it’s like to really love & really hate. I found passion in people. I've fallen & managed to pick myself up, by myself. &With the help of some amazing people. Everyone & everything I used as a clutch this year.. &Just.. Ahhh!
The most amazing, blessed nightmare ever lived.
I'm a new me & that is such a beautiful thinggg.
So, 2008 - I bid you farewell.. It’s time for 09; Time to truly shine!(:
&I’m sorry to say that I’ll NEVER be looking back.


To the people;
This year was so surreal. I feel like we were actors in someone’s movie. Casted December of 2007. Started filming January 1st, 2008. & Now, this movie is over. & We all deserve a fucking Oscar award.
Don’t you agree?

kayywhyyx.

If you truly believe you were a phase in my life, you're W0W. Like, for real. It's not even like that boo. When rational communication becomes an option, call me(:

.kayy[WHYYS0SERIOUS?!].

uhm , WOW.
PERIOD.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can.
& The wisdom to know the difference.

So, today I had to put my thinking cap on.. Hmph.

I'm like a kiss by a rosee.

I honestly meant no harm by any of this.
I'm just so.. "Heartless" these days.
I'm going through a phasee. I don't care to have anybody around. I want Me, Myself, & I.
So, for the time being.. Don't mind me.


P.S. Girl,you still don't knoww..

This here is my girlfriend.

We've been going out on and off since we were 13.

Problem? Didn't think so.

For once in my life I'm enjoying this rain(:

Its really fucking cold & really fucking wet but, I likee it.

If my hair wasn't straight I'd take a walk in the rain.. Let it wash away all these icky feelings I have. Hmph, this is going to be a very lonely winter without you.

"I guess I lost another one to the winter time. I'm still standing on two feet after this tradgic loss. - I laugh 'cause my previous lifestyle was quite wild 'til winter came and blew his cold air through."

But, I'm excited for lifee in a majorr wayyy - OHNINE, here I gooo!

kayywhyyx

P.S. Girl,you just don't knoww..

"I know I don't know you but, I want you so bad. Everyone has a secret but, can they keep it?"♥

The best joint I've ever smoked in my life(:

Coconut flavored paper, b0mb ass Kush.. Wowww.

Memories..

Happy Xmas, Kylaaa(:

Thankk youu, Mommy for the gorgeous new laptop! It's yellow & FUCKING B0MB! Weeeee!

Two more weeks,world & it's goodbye worst fucking year ever.

Ahhhh, I'm so.. Ahhhh!

Too many feelings at onceeee.

I never thought I'd see the day when I fell OUT of love.

Smh.

Kay, I don't have much to say to anyone right now.

So,byebye.

Ahhhh, I'm over it. Shit feeels goooood(:


OUT with the OLD - IN with the NEW.


& That girl just don't know... Hmph.


Bada bop bop boppp!


This time I'm taking full advantagee of thiss.


To everyone who once was a major part of my life - I loved you.


This is.. The sweetest goodbye(:


& I'm going to make damn sureeee.


History shall NEVER repeat itself - Know thattt.


Nighnigh.

Today starts the days of putting the past behind us & never letting it find us again.
Trust,again?(: I'm gladdd!


&& In-N-Out was b0mb!
MissCaptianUnderpants & Her boyfriend are amazinggg, lmfaooo.

Thee poor Thai man.. Daniel (whose real name was Tyler lmfaoo).. Just,cuteee.

&& Uhm.. Now I'm re-reading O-o. Some shatt I haven't done ina minuteeee.
I like it.. don't know if I should but, I do.

&& Auuuh,yeaaah. I'm ready to move on, how abt you?(:

PS; I miss my wifeeee!
I hope you're goood,bby!

Kayyy,byeeeee.

Cause your records like.. 17-3.

&&You lost to..

SMH.

-_-

Recognize the cause of what's done is done.

The memories are a happy drug..

& Enough to keep looking for my Lucy in the sky with gemz.

Make the love - Paint the picture.

Again.. Win / Win(:


Ahhh, Smileee for meee 'cause you can!
=D

I need to stop living in this day to day fantasy & start living again.

If I don't wanna do it.. I won't do it - It's just the simple.

That voice.. In my head.. That I've avoided for 17 years-_-.. Is kinda smartt.

I might have to start listening to it.

Change.. Can be a beautiful thing.

&Lord knows I'm terrified of history repeating itself.

1st2nd3rd&4th takes it homeee.

I don't expect shit from this life.. I just, know what I want.

& I know Ima do what I have to get it.

Ohhh myyy lantaaaaa.. Look at where those "high hopes" got yahhh.

Kayyy,worlddd.

Colorr me blueeee, I loveeee you.

"Don't ever fucking question that."

I just can't believe that you would have anything to do with someone so insecure, someone so immature. You inspire me to be the higher me, you made my desire pure.

I guess I owe you a thank you.

Lots of love - x0x0.

♥kayywhyyx

"You don't have to believe every thought you have."

That's the magic of believing.. & This is what I believe..

This isn't what it is nor is it what it could or should be.

*There is power in believing. This, I promise you.

The mind is too much of a powerful thing to waste.

& when I do it, Ima do it right(:

I'm coming to terms with my status as a drifter.

♥kayywhyyx so serious.

Happy Birthday, ET.

You're legal - Feeling grown and shittt(:

Have a wonderful, wonderful day.

&A great year!

I ate an uncooked toaster stroodle for breakfast & now I'm craving impossible.

Just another day in the life: "I wish I woulda had more hugs & less drugs."
A month of sobriety! Ahhh, it looks awsome, it feels awsome, it is awsome(:

Now I'm going to take what's left of me.. & Move forward.

I get to see the love of my life ina couple hours(:
I'm going to be G1less for a little while.. Fucking Sebastian.

&Polee tonight, pwuahahahaa.

&This.. This is a win win situation.
She's pretty amazingg I must sayyyy(: Don't you agree?

You're never going to find another me. Not to say that anyone would want to find another me.. Just saying.

It'll make it that much better on my behalf.

Okayyyy, you have a wonderful dayyy!

"Its your life - Live it how you want to."

But, I'm a believer & I couldn't leave her if I tried.

♥kayywhyyx jelly.

Bubba Kush.

Yeah, only I would fucking lose my dog the same day I buy him=//

But,his names Bubba Kush.

He has a pink collar.. And whiteishtan hair.

Probably running around Reseda.

If you see him let me know.

(818)271-7102

Don't listen to anybody that knew me 'cause to have known me would mean that there's a new me & if you think I've changed in the slightest.. Coulda fooled me.

♥kayywhyyx

Industry.